Tuesday, 8 September 2020

Shine

When I started this blog, over ten years ago, I had in mind to force myself out of my own comfort zone in order to share and grow. Part of that plan was related to my being psychic and oh my... how this blog has charted those adventures! Several stories that began on this blog became the foundation for my book, Elephant Songs.

If I had to sum up my journey of being psychic with a single word for each decade it would be: DEFENSIVE in my twenties, RESIGNED in my 30s, EXPLORING in my 40s and CAUTIOUS in my 50s. And now, as I move ever closer to my 60s, I think I'm finally ready for a new word and I'd like it to be...

SHINE.


Those were the first words that popped into my head as I was writing. To explain the sense behind them might be trickier.

DEFENSIVE? Because by the time I turned twenty the fact I was different was already causing me problems. Never with my parents, who supported me in being true to my self always, but most certainly from my friends and peers.

RESIGNED came to mind for my thirties, because by then I was fairly used to what I was and how people were likely to react to that.

EXPLORING came about through the wonderful blessing of an internet connection combined with being unable to find a full time job in my new country. Plenty of time on my hands and the world on my computer as my research library.

CAUTIOUS because the stronger I became the more I feared accidentally harming or hurting others. And caution because I began to have similar problems to those I'd tackled in my twenties: not everyone was supportive. I don't mean people who think psychics are delusional or frauds. I mean the "downers" - the people who don't want you to hold up your light because they fear you will outshine them.

All that changed recently, when a relative wrote to tell me how much she loved Elephant Songs.


I've had my fair share of fan mail over the years, but nothing beats family acknowledging your talent. I've been exceptionally lucky in having the support of my parents and husband, but beyond that it's been a bit hit and miss with family. They're not negative... they're just invisible. And sometimes it does make me sad.

When I started this post today, I remembered a Bible quote about how a prophet is never respected in his own home or country. I couldn't remember it exactly and while searching online I found a fantastic article at WORLD TRANSFORMATION MOVEMENT on this very topic. This bit in particular struck me:
"The potential trap for the prophet, of hopelessly trying to have his family appreciate and benefit from his work, has a dangerous capacity to exhaust and destroy him. A sound, unresigned person will naturally try extremely hard to have his family appreciate him and his work, however he simply has to be strong enough to at some stage realise the futility of trying to ‘reach’ his own family and be prepared to get on with his work without their support."
Ah, that RESIGNED word.... Yeah, I've been there! And I've made my own way through the exhaustion of trying to explain myself constantly to those who truly don't care in the first place. But even with the experience and hard-fought courage of decades, it still took one email to make it all come together.

I'm ready to shine now. Thank you, Leza. <3




3 comments:

neena maiya (guyana gyal) said...

Welcome back.

"Shine" is a beautiful way to live, leaving the shadows, chasing the darkness from the self, and seeking the light.

Michelle said...

G~G!!! How have you been? :) I have missed you and missed blogging.

xoxo

neena maiya (guyana gyal) said...

I'm fine, thank you. I'm mostly in Florida with my mum (she needs my help, these days).

And I've published the first book in a series based on life in Guyana. Self-published. Because I can't be bothered to hunt down lit. agents...and I like the independence.