Dona Nobis Pacem 2025 ~ We All Speak Together

 

 

The theme for this 20th anniversary Blogblast for Peace is SPEAK LOVE. 

I had to dig deep for this one as it's not been a year that spoke love, personally or globally. I lost contact with loved ones this year due to their disapproval of my views on politics and life choices, I'm in danger of losing my home and community due to things beyond my control, and the news from all around the planet is utterly dire. 

How do we Speak Love when our hearts are tired and our optimism eroded away? How do we even begin to believe we can make a difference when we are so few; a scattered handful of bloggers and peace lovers?

And then I saw him on a meme, the most ridiculous of creatures - a lone frog standing down a row of men with riot gear and guns. It was absurd, ludicrous, and a bit horrifying when you watched him being pepper-sprayed. I mean, seriously, an inflatable frog?  

But then, the very next day, there were three more frogs! And then a panda, several cartoon characters and a unicorn. Over the next days the menagerie grew until, finally, MORE frogs in a completely different city, dancing with Baby Shark and a T rex! 

I was curious... who was this masque'd amphibian? I found him being interviewed about his reasons. It's worth listening to, but if you want the quick route, I've quoted Seth Todd, the Portland protest frog, below.  

"We are humans and we're not supposed to be treating other people unfairly just because we have the power to do so."

Oh my dear frog, how beautiful your words were to my tired heart. You summed up everything Peace stands for: not to treat others unfairly simply because we have the power to do so. 

And you reminded me of a deeper truth, that speaking love can be scary and even dangerous, because at its core speaking love means standing up to that which is cruel, that which is unfair, that which hurts or harms the innocent or vulnerable. 

There are more ways to speak love than merely say words out loud; you can write love, mime love, dance or sing love, paint it into a picture or gift it in a smile and a hug. 

Or just maybe, you'll show your compassion for others by dressing up as a frog. After all, it was frogs who first taught me how wonderful things can be when we all stand together.

Win or lose, sink or swim
One thing is certain, we'll never give in
Side by side, hand in hand
We all stand together

Play the game, fight the fight
But what's the point on a beautiful night?
Arm in arm, hand in hand
We all stand together

Love
Keeping us warm in the night
la la la la love 
Walk in the light
You'll get it right!

I will never be a Christian

 I say that fairly often, then equally often add that I do follow Jesus.  And I guess that must sound a bit nuts.

Something happened this week that made me realise I could explain it. I had a meme thing pop up on Facebook that stunned me. Americans calling a Bishop evil for .. the sin of empathy?

My dad LOVED the concept of empathy. He always said that the greatest gift we could have.

And quite honestly, I can't think of anyone better to illustrate that word than Jesus: the man who ate with sinners, blessed a prostitute, treated his woman followers with utmost respect and equality, protected children, told us to take care of the injured stranger lying on the side of the road, gave his blessings of healing to people not of his faith or race, and only asked one thing...

John 13:34-35

34 A new commandment I give unto you: that ye love one another, as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

So who is this Bishop Budde? I was curious and looked her up. I watched her sermon.

HOLY CRAP.  Her sin was asking for compassion, unity and understanding? WTH??? Has it really become this twisted? Have so-called "Christians" really forgotten the actual teachings of the man they call the Son of God?

And then it all came back to me, all the times I've tried to join a church only to be hit in the face by the fact every single church I've experienced has wanted me to put their doctrine above the word of Jesus. Nope, I can't do it.

 I will always put Jesus first. I will never be a church Christian.

Matthew 22:36-40

36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law? 37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 38 This is the first and great commandment.

39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. 40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

And that's not easy. Because the inner me is a fiery, big-mouthed, shit-stirrer who wants to roar in and smack people, like Peter did. :D I'm not quiet. Anyone who knows me will vouch for that! I'm more like those brothers, James and John, that Jesus named the Sons of Thunder. hahaha

The whole turning the cheek and forgiving? hmm.. not easy for me. But I am aware and I try to keep myself balanced. And when I do lose the plot I take comfort in the Jesus who raged and threw the the merchants and money-makers out of His Father's house.

There are times to rage, but never without holding onto love and empathy.

Luke 6:27-31

“But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

A Light for Christmas

As much as I enjoy the giving and getting of presents and watching "feel good" Christmas movies, that's not at all what this season is about for me.

As far back as I can remember, the true magic lies in stars and wise men willing to follow them, simple shepherds experiencing the unimaginable and the most humble birth of a child. The fact they are woven through with older religions gifting us traditions like Yule logs, Christmas trees, mistletoe only adds to the magic and wonder of it all. For anyone with northern ancestors, across Europe and Asia, this is the season of darkness that will be rebirthed into light.

Every year, even as a child, I like to take some time to be quiet and feel that deeper meaning. I'll turn off the lights and sit by the Christmas tree (under it when I was little!), sit with a candle or stand in my bedroom and look out at the stars. Joy is great, fun too, but for me there has to be the counterbalance of stillness. A moment when the noise and frantic bustle of the season fades away, and I find myself in the light again.

This has become even more important as the years have passed. In part because modern advertising is more and more aggressively based in consumerism rather than caring, demanding we spend and SEE THIS SALE. But in larger part I need that quiet moment because the longer you live on Earth, the more empty chairs you have at your table. 

In December 2017, we lost my dad and that has taken a huge part of the joy out of this holiday for me and my family, but he is only one empty chair of many. I'm not unique or alone in having those empty chairs. Every single person I know has at least one. This particular year, I have two dear friends who have lost parents this December and another who is waiting for that inevitable farewell with her mom.

The empty chairs aren't only loved ones who have passed, but also friends who moved on and relationships that didn't last. Christmas can be magical, but it also reminds us of what we have lost or maybe never had. And that is painful, especially when the adverts and movies are all so over-the-top with the JOY and FUN. 

Sometimes, the only way you can rekindle your light is to take time to sit with your darkness.

Try it. Find a quiet moment or place and sit with the dark. You can choose your own variation, but sitting in an empty room with a Christmas tree or by a window looking at the stars are my favourites. The dark isn't the enemy or something to be feared. The dark is completely non-judgemental. Let it wrap itself around you like a mother's loving arms; it will hold you gently. Just be with it and let all the noise go, including the voice in your head with its list of things you should be doing or should have done. Let it all go...

... and look for the light. 

Even if it's only a tiny star or one candle; it's there, and it has always been there. The light that is life and love. It is the very core of everything, including you and everyone you love, have loved or will love. So, this year I'm wishing you find your light in the darkness, but also find the way to let the dark embrace you. They need each other as much as we need them both. And wherever you are... may the light of love find you and always guide you home.

In Gratitude

This week, I've realised something huge - the old South Africa and (some of) the USA are very much alike; which is why so much of the USA stuff triggers me. It brings back a lot of bad memories. Maybe I've just been exceptionally unlucky, or maybe I've just been more aware. Either way, it was often nothing huge, just constant small slap downs. Slap... slap... slap... until you either break and give in or burst into Fury.

And for how to control the Fury and use it... I owe that to my mom and dad.

I had parents whose motto was, "If you see wrong - fix it, help it, heal it, and ALWAYS SPEAK OUT about it."

I had great role models. Tiresome at times. As a teenager, I didn't always appreciate the fact my parents stood up and got involved. As a teen you just want to be popular. But even then, I learned a lot, and it's made me a better person. I am so grateful for their foundation.

And thank you, Srinivas Shastri, for constantly reminding me that the most powerful and healing Fury is tempered in kindness. You gave me a better view of my self.

And thank you to the women (my mom, friends and family) who taught me how to release the Fury. I tended to bottle up my anger, in fear of doing harm. I have often been the "self harmer" - preferring to be the one hurt rather than hurting. It took several wise women to teach me to trust my own voice and not back down when others tried to manipulate me. You all gave me my voice.

Dona Nobis Pacem ~ Turn, Turn, Turn

For two decades (how did the time go by so fast?) I've taken part in Blogblast for Peace, every November. I've watched it continue to grow, steadily spiralled outwards as we draw, write and create in the name of Peace. But this year I'm turning around and following the spiral back to the centre. 

It's time to turn. 

Because no matter how much of a difference we might make in fighting for world peace, there is no greater battle, nothing ever more important or courageous, than ensuring your own personal peace. Your well-being has to come first. 

Your mental and emotional health,

                 your sense of spiritual or ethical integrity,

your self-respect, 

                                                                    your personal sovereignty,  

your inner peace. 

Because when there is no peace within... there can be no peace without.

 As wonderful as it is, to belong to a large group all battling for positive change, I'm also seeing a lot of burn out. People who are saying they feel exhausted; long past running on empty. So this season of Peace, I'm asking you to turn the spiral inwards. I want you to check your inner core; is it steady? Is it calm? Is it a sanctuary? Are your boundaries clearly marked and are you brave enough to hold them firm? Because it takes tremendous courage to stand up for yourself whilst still staying centred in peace and love.

The hardest thing to do is to love yourself and treat yourself with kindness, because the world will fight you on that. Our society prefers people who are obedient to others. It ridicules those who choose to put themselves first. But the boss who implies you are lazy or not pulling your weight if you ask for sick leave... will he be there for you when your health collapses? The "friend" who calls you selfish or unkind for refusing to constantly help... will they be there for you when you collapse from exhaustion?

It's not your duty to take care of everyone on the planet as well as fighting for Peace and the planet itself.  That burden is too great; no-one can carry that much. You will burn out. 

For two decades we have all cried "NO MORE" for world peace; now we must do it for our selves. No more giving without receiving back. No more draining yourself dry in the hope that somehow, some day, all that sacrifice will be appreciated and recognised. No more giving parts of your self away. No more self-destruction and lack of inner peace. 

Turn, turn, turn ...

Growing Brighter

 I saw this picture on a friend's Facebook today...

... it hit home for several reasons.

The first being that this was something I failed badly at, when I was young; I regularly dimmed my light when I was a teen. It started after I moved countries, at age 10, and wanted to just "fit in" at my new schools in a strange new culture.

Looking back, I can see that a lot of the "me" from those high school years (I was 12 when I entered high school) was barely visible and often hardly ME at all. And even after I finished school, the ME I truly was had become so buried under the "me" I wore to be accepted that I really only managed to be my true self in small bursts, usually when I was too tired or too emotional to care if anyone was offended or scared by my brightness. 

In my late 30s, I had just begun peeling back the dimness and was beginning to shine, when I married and moved countries again. Immigrating triggered all those old feelings of insecurity, of not "fitting", and sadly, once again, I began to dim myself down in order to fit in.

It's taken me a long time to understand that there's a lot more to dimming my light than I realised. And Facebook made me notice that. You see, on Facebook I have gathered everyone I want to keep contact with in a fast-easy way. That includes a very varied range of people, from childhood friends and family to new friends and people I know through various work/interests.

This is what happened - I began to lose friends. A few at first, but these last 18 months it's been more. I began to think, "What is wrong with me?" Today I realised... there's nothing wrong with ME, but there was a lot wrong with the dim "me" I was still, often unconsciously, using to fit in. I lost Facebook friends because many of those very different people only knew the dimmed "me" I had used when we were together.  But once they were all on my Facebook wall, all in the same "room", there was no way I could juggle all the dimmed "me" variants and the real ME started to emerge.

I'd say, at this stage, I'm the brightest ME on Facebook that I've ever been. And that ME is ever evolving as I open up to who I truly am. And that has caused problems. People have un-friended ME, because I've been "too" -. "too loud", "too quiet", "too Left", "too Middle of the Road", "too forceful", "too soft"... I've had all of those as accusations. And they have hurt at times. The old "me" wanted to scrabble madly to fit in, but on social media, under so much scrutiny, it was impossible to please everyone and so... I began choosing what pleased me.

I embraced my "too much" and accepted my "too bright-ness". I'm still working on this and yes, sometimes I'm still losing friends. I lost a dear friend recently. This person left me with "too blunt" and "too forceful". Am I? I have others who grumble that I'm "too accepting", "too polite" and "too forgiving". Am I both? Or am I just... ME. Messy, complicated, still evolving. A star in the process of learning how to be a sun. Sometimes burning things, but always unintentionally. Trying to be warming, but aware that some can only cope with so much brightness.

So, whoever you are, whatever type of star you might be, or be in the process of becoming... just SHINE. Those that need your light will find you and yes, those that aren't able to cope will move on. Love them and let them go. They are their own stars, they will find their own place in the sky to shine. 

The universe is big enough for everyone. 

Repeat Patterns

 I drew this picture a long time ago, in the 1990s, as an illustration for a book: "Die Dans van die Brein/The Brain Dance" by Shani Grove

This drawing was for a chapter on how, and why, ordinary individuals lose their self-identity when they join group belief systems. The harmful systems, such as cults and extremist political groups, in particular.

On January 6th 2021, I saw this illustration in action on the TV news when mobs attacked the Capitol Building in the USA. It was a strange feeling. I'd been convinced this would happen for over four years and yet seeing what I had feared happening was still shocking.

I first heard about Donald Trump about five years ago. I guess he was well known to many by then, but I'm not much into paparazzi or reality TV. I had no idea who he was until he exploded into Scottish news with a new golf course he was proposing to build in our county. Within a very short time, he had managed to antagonise a large percentage of Scottish people with his bullying business tactics that eventually revealed him to be a greedy, vindictive, and untrustworthy liar. "What a nasty little man," I thought to myself, and dismissed him.

When he reappeared on the news a while later, as a candidate for the US presidential elections, I was bemused. Did he really think people would vote for a crooked businessman as president? Was he really that much of an egotist? I decided to watch one of his campaign speeches to see.

And my blood ran cold.

I'd seen this scenario played out on old TV news reels, but I never expected to see it live in my own lifetime. No matter how derogatory and hate-based his speech became, the crowds cheered. I don't know how many of Trump's campaign speeches I ended up watching, I just remember the important bits. Like the night he made fun of a disabled reporter and the constant, pounding messages so similar to those that Hitler had used on his own doting fans.

And why did it work then? For the exact same reasons it worked now: because the Germans were desperate for positive change. Germany was reeling from the harsh WWI reparations and the Great Depression. People had no jobs, no money, no hope. They were starving for hope and Hitler fed them the two things needed to fulfil them: a promise of making Germany great again and someone to blame.

Make Germany great again... because it's not your fault, Mr Ordinary-German with your wife and two kids. You are the chosen one. The true people. The higher blood line. You deserve better. You deserve the best. And it was taken from you... by THEM.

THEM.

The disabled, the gays, the lesser races who take your jobs, your women, your country's money and resources. Don't hate yourself. Don't ever take responsibility. Blame THEM and follow me. I will make us great again. 

 

You know, I listed them in that order, because the Nazis used the "final solution" on the disabled and elderly before they moved on to homosexuals, Jews, Gypsies, Jehovah Witnesses...

THEM.

Let's blame them. Let's rally up our mob mentality and blame THEM: the Hispanic races, the Mexicans, the disabled, the homosexuals, Trans kids wanting to be safe in public toilets, fleeing refugees, Canadians, journalists, women with an opinion, Muslims, the Left, The Democrats... 

THEM.

You know, even as I watched Trump going on about how evil and bad THEY were, even as I felt that ice-cold fear of recognition, I still told myself I was paranoid. And surely people would not vote this man into office? Surely people would see through his egomania and be turned off by his hate-filled prose? But I'd forgotten my book illustration and that chapter on how easily people are sucked into belief systems that seem insane to those watching from the outside.

For the last four years, I've constantly tried to make those in the spiral see that this man they follow is a narcissist. Constantly said "He is dangerous." He is hate-filled. He twists the truth to suit his own agendas and he cares NOTHING for anyone but his own self. He fuels bigotry and fear of anyone different. He makes them the problem; the obstacle that needs to be overcome in order to make everything great again. In doing so, he has even made good people believe bad things. I know families and friends who have turned against each other because of this man's constant messages of hate.

And now, as the world watches the USA reeling like some boxer punch-drunk from too many blows, I'm saying it again. This man has done serious harm and he will continue to be dangerous until you tackle his legacy: the hate. 

 

His leaving the White House will change nothing until people on all sides return to seeing each other clearly, as individuals of the same country, with the same right to respect. If you cannot let go of hating THEM, there will never be a healthy US (play on words intended).

It's up to all of you now, Americans. Left, Right or whatever; all races, genders, religions. YOU are the country and only your strength and compassion can put it back together again.

Blog for Peace 2020 ~ Perfect Vision

When I first sat down to write a post for this year's event... words left me. There was no room for them. All the space inside me was taken up with emotion.

This has been an exceptionally emotional year on a global level. We started with devastating fires in Australia (how we worried for friends and family over there!) and went straight on into Covid19 with its assorted political chaos, worldwide protests and then even more climate disasters. We have been inside a storm, not for days but for months. All of us. Everyone. No one is untouched by this year's events.

Canberra, Orroral Valley, January 28, 2020. New research suggests the recent record-breaking heat in Australia, which is linked to climate change, helped increase the region’s fire risk by at least 30 percent.

https://www.sciencenews.org/article/australia-wildfires-climate-change Nick-D/Wikimedia Commons (CC BY-SA 4.0)

All of this has taken its toll. I'm seeing more angry people than ever before. Because fear makes people angry, it's a natural survival mechanism. Fear makes us feel out of control - rage gives back the feeling of control. Rage helped us fight off the predatory beasts when we were a young species still throwing rocks and sticks.

Anger can be very useful as it gives us the courage to face our demons, but it has to be wielded with calm and a clear mind. Thoughtless anger is chaos. It's the mob burning innocent women as witches and the person refusing to wear a mask during Covid19 because they are secretly, deeply, afraid. Terrified that the virus really exists, so they pretend it's a hoax. Terrified that if it is a hoax some secret and even worse harm is being done to them, such as taking away their personal power and freedoms.

Terrified.

Just as you have to turn and face the wolves on the path, you have to face what you fear. You cannot fix the problem, or slay the demon, without first understanding the fear beneath your anger.

For me, it's been the realisation that I get most angry when I see people being irrational. Why? Because I fear they might do/say things they will regret once they've calmed down enough to see the truth. My rage is based on my fear of them doing terrible harm: to me or to others, to themselves and to their countries or our planet. But to find that truth I had to step back and see with my heart.

What secret fear drives your anger? 

Turn around and face it.

Find the truth in your heart.

Then take that truth and reclaim your power.

The phrase "2020 vision" means to have perfect eyesight; to see with utter clarity. Could there be a better wish for this 2020 year than that? To see clearly, from the heart? 

This is my hope and my prayer...

 

If being separated from each other during Covid19 has only one positive result it should be this: that in being forced apart we finally realised we are all in this together. One planet and one humanity. 

Dona Nobis Pacem... in 2020 vision.

Just add Love

This year has been hard on everyone, an extremely rare thing in the history of mankind. From politics to climate change disasters to a worldwide virus pandemic... no one has been able to avoid stress. And, not surprisingly, a lot of people are struggling.

I was talking to a friend about the way high levels of aggression I'm seeing online lately. It got me thinking about something Gabriel said to me once - how there were no "good" or "bad" emotions, just different ways to deal with them.

Being angry or scared, for whatever reason, isn't in itself a bad thing, but how we deal with that is important. Which is easy to write, but what exactly does it mean? How do we manage to ensure our anger or fear is a positive experience rather than a harmful, negative one?

Gabriel kind of shrugged, as if this should be obvious, and said, "When in doubt... just add love."

Even now I'm still somewhat the sceptic, I was not convinced until I gave it a try. Honestly? It really does work, but it takes a certain mindfulness. For each strong emotional reaction I had that day (and there were many because the political back-stabbing is horrendous at the moment) I had to pause... step back and look at the emotion I was feeling... and add love. And within seconds my stress would ease and my outrage or anger would shrink back to manageable or even vanish altogether.

When life turns you into a lemon, just add love. ;)

Remember the feeling of love in whatever way works for you, and then look again at what is scaring you or making you so angry with that filter of love  between you and your problem. Same with grief, jealousy, hate or any other nasty little emotion that shows up to ruin your day. Add love. I guarantee you'll begin to feel a difference.

Un-American

Thoughtful Thursday - For the New Year

Music for Christmas Eve - O Holy Night

One Year

You left us one year ago, dad. This is for you... xoxoxoxo

Thanks giving

Today is Thanksgiving in America... and also Thanksgiving in a small town in the Netherlands. A Dutch American Thanksgiving. I never knew that until today! It seems that a large chunk of the settlers on the Mayflower were Dutch immigrants from a place called Leiden. You can read more about Leiden's American Pilgrim Thanksgiving service here.

Every November on Thanksgiving morning, the Pieterskerk hosts an annual ecumenical service. You can learn more about the event here.

Read more at DutchNews.nl:

Every November on Thanksgiving morning, the Pieterskerk hosts an annual ecumenical service. You can learn more about the event here.

Read more at DutchNews.nl:

The Smithsonian says this in an article on the story:

In 1620, the ship Speedwell left from Leiden to Southampton, England. The passengers moved over to the Mayflower, and from there set upon their their long voyage to America. From 1609 to 1620, many of the assorted clustering of people known as the Pilgrims had resided in Leiden, working, running a printing press, and bolstering their numbers. Bart Plantenga for American Heritage:

The Pilgrims had evaded English persecution through the peculiar tolerance of the Calvinist Dutch, who had given them a religious safe haven upon their arrival in 1608. By 1609 the newcomers had settled in Leiden, whose city fathers declared they could “refuse no honest people free entry to come live in the city.” In Leiden the Pilgrims joined other British exiles amid a population of students, intellectuals, and refugees, including Gypsies, Mennonites, Lutherans, and Muslims.

Read more: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/they-celebrate-american-thanksgiving-in-the-netherlands-140671441/#ZjeoJd93wxOwZIS7.99

Two things struck me there:

1. The early pilgrims on the Mayflower weren't all English, as I'd thought. 

2. Leiden offered sanctuary not only to those Pilgrims fleeing to America, but also to Gypsies and Muslims.

Leiden actually had its own Thanksgiving holiday long before the Pilgrims set sail and there are some who think the Pilgrims liked this idea and took it with them to America. Whatever the case, how wonderfully tolerant and compassionate the people of Leiden were. Opening their town as a sanctuary for refugees fleeing persecution. 

That is truly worthy of a day of Thanksgiving. :)

Family Stories ~ Small Histories

Small Histories. 

It is summer in South Africa, 1990. I'm sitting in a garage, holding an old tin box. It is so worn by age that the colour has no description in the English language. I rub my hand across the scratched and worn away surface, feeling old friends inside. I know their faces without having to see them. If I open the box... when I open the box... I will know them and they will know me, but for now it is enough to sit here and listen to them whispering within their tin tomb.

The sun is bright outside the garage. I can hear cars in the distance and birds nearby. My grandfather would sit here for hours, squatting on his haunches with ease, even in his seventies. Sit and watch the world... smoke his pipe. Now he is gone and I am here in old clothes to help family remove grandpa's collections.

Grandpa was a pack rat supreme. There are at least twenty jam jars of screws and nails so rusted no-one could ever use them again. There are five books of wallpaper samples he used to decorate two generations of doll's houses and eight tins of World War two tank paint used mostly to repaint the concrete garden gnome that now sits on the front steps. There are Rhodesian TV magazines dating back to the sixties. Their covers show girls wearing mini skirts and enormous hair. Their adverts are for products and companies long gone and their TV listings are heavily nostalgic - Star Trek and Twilight Zone, Fred Flintstone and Skippy the Bush Kangaroo.

My dad puts them alongside the rest of the junk to be recycled or dumped. So much of my grandfather's collecting was junk and yet he could create wonder from it. Like the penny farthing cycle he built from scraps of wire and metal or the castle forts and doll's houses he meticulously glued together from old empty matchboxes. I actually hated the doll's house. I'd wanted a castle, but even at eight I'd been awed at the craftsmanship that was needed to create a luxury double-story, with cardboard roof tiles and real windows of thin plastic sheeting, out of matchboxes.

Sitting amongst the dusty dregs of a lifetime's collecting I sit with "the box" and remember. I can't lift the lid. As long as the box is closed the memories inside are dormant - frozen. Inside this box time stands still. As long as the lid is shut my grandpa is alive and we are sitting in his room in Rhodesia as he tells me all the small histories. Once I lift the lid it will be over. The photos are not mine - they are going to other family members as keepsakes. So I sit and hold the memories a little longer. I have asked permission to scan as many as I want, but it won't be the same. I have no-one I can tell their stories to, as my grandfather told me, and scanned pictures on a screen aren't the same as brittle dry paper held in the hand.

Perhaps my heart is as sad to let them go as it is to let him go... but I have one consolation. I have the tales and the memories - the small histories. No-one can take those from me. I smile and open the box...

Walking the Path

I recently asked my spirit guardian how best to deal with grief and sadness. He said, "Give grief all the time and space it needs, but don't live in it." 

I understood exactly what he meant. We've all met people who "live in it" in a negative sense. They get into that space of intense grief, anger or bitterness and... they get stuck there. I think people like that are a bit like travellers going through a dark forest. I'm not sure if they get lost or deliberately stop walking, but years pass and there they still are, still sitting in the dark with moss growing over them.

We all face dark forests at some time or another. The path of life can take us through meadows and deserts and forests. Sometimes it's gentle and the scenery is lovely and sometimes it's not, but all of it is a part of the great adventure of living. You have to keep on walking and that can really hurt when someone you love steps off the path to take a different route. 

There's a movie that sums this up most beautifully. It's called The Way.

It's about a grieving father who walks the Camino (ancient pilgrimage journey across Spain) for his dead son. He leaves his son's ashes at each marker along the route. Sounds a gloomy movie, but it's actually very funny in places. In the end, his journey becomes so much more than he expected, just the same as every life story. Farewells are painful, but you have to keep walking. So we find our ways to deal with the sadness as we walk. We give our emotions whatever space and time they need, but we don't stop and live there. 

Thoughtful Thursday... All that we Share

Such a clever video and all the more vital to watch since the tragedy in Pittsburgh this past weekend.

Fear is the Blame Game

I recently read an excellent post by Jeff Gregory​ about hate. I tend to defend the underdog and speak out about things I feel are wrong. A lot of people think that means I hate A or B, but it's not that simple. I do hate injustice and cruelty, but I can still pity the person doing the "act of evil" because so often it is the broken who then go on to break others. As you Jeff says in his post - hate isn't the answer. We need to find more ways to say "no, I don't want this" without making it a word used while carrying weapons and torches. This planet has seen far too many tragedies based on the hate of mass hysteria.

I've come up against this a lot with the recent fear/hate between political parties and against specific religions. Personally, I don't follow either Left or Right in politics (I'm Green first )and I see religions as the ways humanity experience and love creation/creator. I really don't think God cares how we express that love, only that we love. I don't think there is a single Way to God; each path is unique to each person. but sadly, there are two religions that have a history of using extreme force in order to convert others to a single "way": Christianity and Islam.

I have had to defend the rights of my Muslim friends a lot recently, which has led to some people thinking I'm anti-Christianity. Not so! I am depressed and afraid of the levels of hate in BOTH radical versions of these two religions. Yet neither religion was created by a man proposing using cruelty and fear to convert followers...

So how did it all go so wrong and how can we ensure it does not continue into our future? 

It has to begin with letting go of hate and that means facing our fears, because most of the time hate is the way we protect ourselves from things we fear. We fear the different and unknown and we fear things that have hurt us in the past or that we worry will hurt us in the future. Fear is a primal instinct of survival, but it has limitations. It drains your energy and strips away your ability to think clearly. This is why so many brainwashing techniques use tiredness and fear, because you lose all ability to think for yourself. You become a puppet.

And the only way you can ever battle fear is through Love - the type of love that walks with tolerance, understanding and compassion.

Thank you, Jeff, for reminding me of that simple fact. It's so easy to lose sight of what really matters when you're frustrated and scared for the future. I'd like to repay you with a video by a favourite group of mine who say it beautifully in this song.  

If there is grace in this world

If there is light on this earth

Let us use it

Let us see it

Starting right now...

Peace, love, more tolerance

Faith, hope trust in the same god in whose

Name we die for, take an innocent life for

That's not what He means

And it doesn't matter what book you read

Your Way - My Way

This year, two friends sadly decided to unfriend me on Facebook. The problem is that my friends are extremely varied. I have blog friends, internet friends, old school friends and assorted relatives all rolling about with fans of my books and poems. They span every race, religion (including atheists), sexual orientation and political party. Whilst I like all of them, we don't always see eye to eye. 

The two friends I lost were deeply offended by the facts I'm (friend #1) not a vegan and (friend #2) I'm not feminist enough. Written that way it sounds absurd, but it still makes me sad. The vegan in particular was a dear friend. I had no problem with her world view and dietary choices. I just wish she'd shown mine the same respect. I'm still proud of my vegan friend for standing up for her beliefs that our world could be kinder to animals. I was proud of the fact my feminist friend stood up for equality until she turned it into "man-bashing." When I told her to stop being rude to men, she left.

Your Way, My Way or the highway... it shouldn't have to come to that. The fact each and every one of us has something we hold important shouldn't become a reason to walk out on our friends or begin to hate each other. 

And that's the really ironic part - most of the people I know who are likely to argue with me on Facebook or elsewhere are those who want the world to be a better place. People who don't care never argue. It's only those who care deeply that fight with each other, because their concern becomes a passion and too often that passion becomes "The Way". Looking at all my friends and family I can say honestly that there is no single Way: there are hundreds. All of them worthy and all of them geared to improving the planet or humankind.

Can you imagine how powerful we'd all be if we supported each other as we each followed our own Way instead of trying to force everyone onto our chosen path? And all it takes is respecting our differences and taking a little time to find out what we have in common. I know my life is so much better for having friends who are vastly different from me. I would never want to only have friends just like me, how boring would that be!

Musical Monday ~ Hunger

An awesome one this week. Listen to the lyrics and you'll know what I mean. Video is superb as well.


Florence and The Machine - Hunger