When her Religion is a Problem...

 I saw this on a social media site yesterday...

For non-Americans, these women are both American but of different religious faiths. Both hold offices that give them legal/political power.

In a way, I agree with this picture, because I think ALL religion in politics is dangerous.

Your religious beliefs are your personal moral compass. You thus have no right to ever think you know better what God wants for another and you most certainly NEVER have the right to legally enforce your spiritual beliefs on an entire nation.

BOTH these women would be equally wrong if they use their religions to force others to be like them. Just as BOTH of them are right if they use their religions to live the lives God intended for them.

It's that simple.

Your soul has only ONE person whose opinion matters - the holy spirit of God that speaks to you alone through your heart. You are not there to save others from themselves. You are only there to support them and love them and hope they make the best choices based on their own connection to God.

Music for Christmas Eve - O Holy Night

One Year

You left us one year ago, dad. This is for you... xoxoxoxo

Not Everything is on the Internet

I just discovered that one of my favourite poems is not online. I did all kinds of searches in all types of places... nothing. So, I went and got out my one book of poems and wrote it out. I hope you love it as much as I do. :)

Prayer of the Butterfly

"Lord!

Where was I?

O Yes! This flower, this sun,

thank you! Your world is beautiful!

This scent of roses...

Where was I?

A drop of dew

rolls to sparkle in a lily's heart.

I have to go...

Where? I do not know!

The wind has painted fancies

on my wings.

Fancies...

Where was I?

O Yes! Lord,

I have something to tell you:

Amen."


Christina Rossetti

VFA - Holo Earth and the Evolution of Awareness

I have another article up on the VFA (Visionary Fiction Alliance) page. :)

Holo Earth and the Evolution of Awareness

Fear is the Blame Game

I recently read an excellent post by Jeff Gregory​ about hate. I tend to defend the underdog and speak out about things I feel are wrong. A lot of people think that means I hate A or B, but it's not that simple. I do hate injustice and cruelty, but I can still pity the person doing the "act of evil" because so often it is the broken who then go on to break others. As you Jeff says in his post - hate isn't the answer. We need to find more ways to say "no, I don't want this" without making it a word used while carrying weapons and torches. This planet has seen far too many tragedies based on the hate of mass hysteria.

I've come up against this a lot with the recent fear/hate between political parties and against specific religions. Personally, I don't follow either Left or Right in politics (I'm Green first )and I see religions as the ways humanity experience and love creation/creator. I really don't think God cares how we express that love, only that we love. I don't think there is a single Way to God; each path is unique to each person. but sadly, there are two religions that have a history of using extreme force in order to convert others to a single "way": Christianity and Islam.

I have had to defend the rights of my Muslim friends a lot recently, which has led to some people thinking I'm anti-Christianity. Not so! I am depressed and afraid of the levels of hate in BOTH radical versions of these two religions. Yet neither religion was created by a man proposing using cruelty and fear to convert followers...

So how did it all go so wrong and how can we ensure it does not continue into our future? 

It has to begin with letting go of hate and that means facing our fears, because most of the time hate is the way we protect ourselves from things we fear. We fear the different and unknown and we fear things that have hurt us in the past or that we worry will hurt us in the future. Fear is a primal instinct of survival, but it has limitations. It drains your energy and strips away your ability to think clearly. This is why so many brainwashing techniques use tiredness and fear, because you lose all ability to think for yourself. You become a puppet.

And the only way you can ever battle fear is through Love - the type of love that walks with tolerance, understanding and compassion.

Thank you, Jeff, for reminding me of that simple fact. It's so easy to lose sight of what really matters when you're frustrated and scared for the future. I'd like to repay you with a video by a favourite group of mine who say it beautifully in this song.  

If there is grace in this world

If there is light on this earth

Let us use it

Let us see it

Starting right now...

Peace, love, more tolerance

Faith, hope trust in the same god in whose

Name we die for, take an innocent life for

That's not what He means

And it doesn't matter what book you read

Musical Monday ~ Hunger

An awesome one this week. Listen to the lyrics and you'll know what I mean. Video is superb as well.


Florence and The Machine - Hunger

Have a Little Faith

The Ultimate Radical

World politics has turned into a TV Soap the last few years, on all continents based on what I hear from friends and family abroad. No surprise that this in turn has led to some pretty heated "debates" on my Facebook wall and in my emails. I'm not one for sitting quiet if I think something is wrong or if I think something else is a great move forward.

What has surprised is how many people have leapt to the assumption that I'm "Left" which is amusing in a way since a few firmly Left friends have nagged me for NOT being Left. I'm also constantly told I'm New Age which is equally confusing. I am a Pantheist (who loves Jesus); they've been around for a very long time. 

Am I Left? I will admit that a lot of the Left parties have policies I agree with, but then again... there's a lot they stand for that I don't agree with. I've never voted for the classic Left party of Britain: Labour. I doubt I ever would. But I most certainly would NEVER vote Tory Right either. It's Green for me first and foremost. No point in a vote without a healthy world to cast it in.

So what are the things I'm saying and/or standing up for that have led so many of my friends (and even some family) to think of me as being a Lefty? I had to stop and think about that this morning, since it's been bothering me for weeks.

This is what I've figured out...

I support the rights of others very different from me (races/religions/sexual orientation) - This is due to what I learnt from reading about Jesus as a child. He said to love thy neighbour and then pointed out that the radically different person is our neighbour.

Matthew 22:36-40 King James Version (KJV)

36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law? 37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 38 This is the first and great commandment.

39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. 40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

glitter-graphics.com

I support feminism and women's equality - Also due to Jesus. He was the first feminist I ever met. He called women "Daughters of Abraham" which was extremely radical. There is no such title. Jewish MEN were called Songs of Abraham, but women were just... nothing. Jesus changed that and gave them equal dignity and respect. He also allowed women to touch him, which was also radical back then. In fact... everything he did related to women was radical.

He spent time teaching Mary and reprimanded Martha for thinking chores should come first before spiritual studies. AND he treated her as a disciple, not merely as a woman he was talking to. This is shown in the fact Luke says she sat at his feet, which is symbolic and meaningful. Disciples being taught would sit at the feet of their teacher.

Luke 10:39

39 And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His Word.

Which leads me to saying I am fairly radical, same as Jesus. :) Like him, I think we have to let go of out-dated laws or ideas that no longer suit us. Like him I believe change is inevitable and to be embraced. He even promised that spirituality would change from people needing a religious leader/teacher to each person claiming their own sacred autonomy of having God's Holy Spirit within them to lead them. I fully support that as well!

I am pro choice. I think women deserve to have power over their own bodies, including pregnancy. These are my personal feelings, but they are backed up by the Bible. It strikes me as VERY odd that many Christians are against this as they are actually not aware of what the Bible says. The Old Testament states that it is the breath that is the moment of life. A foetus is not seen as living until it draws breath. This is why the crime of forcing a woman to miscarry was punished with a fine (Exodus 21:22) whilst murder of any type is punished by death.

I support the rights of children - that every child should have a peaceful, loving, healthy environment, good health care and a decent education.  That no one should ever abuse or harm ANY child. You certainly can blame this one on Jesus. He's famous for his outspoken love and protection of children.

I am not 100% pacifist, but I do try to look for better ways than war, hate and violence. I support sensible gun control, more diplomacy in politics and less frantic armament of our nations. This is in part due to common sense and having experienced war/terrorism growing up, but also due to Jesus. He proposed a very tough commandment to be better than those who harm you. To rise above it and not react blindly in hate, rage or fear. To show others respect in order to teach them respect.

Luke 6:27-31

“But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

I am "Green". I support alternative energy, less cruelty in how we deal with animals (wild and domestic), more recycling and better protection of vital natural resources. No, not coal and oil. I mean trees and water. We can live without coal and oil; we cannot survive without oxygen and drinking water.  This is mostly due to common sense. I will live a day or so without water - I could endure a lifetime without coal or oil. I can live without new gadgets, but I can't live very long without clear air to breathe. Can't say that's obviously Christian, but it did strike me as sad that God told Adam and Eve all of this planet was his gift to humans and then we trashed it. Sort of shameful, like we're spoilt brats.

 I believe in the power of Love to make the world a better place. I'm completely bemused as why some think this makes me New Age as I learnt this straight from Jesus. There are so many Bible quotes on this that I had a hard time picking one. I went with John, as he's my favourite. :)

John 13:34-35

34 A new commandment I give unto you: that ye love one another, as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

 

And finally, I know that I'm doing all the right things, because it's actually Jesus who told me so. I'm me, with his blessing.

Matthew 5:3-10

3

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,

for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

4

Blessed are those who mourn,

for they shall be comforted.

5

Blessed are the meek,

for they shall inherit the earth.

6

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,

for they shall be filled.

7

Blessed are the merciful,

for they shall obtain mercy.

8

Blessed are the pure in heart,

for they shall see God.

9

Blessed are the peacemakers,

for they shall be called the sons of God.

10

Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake,

for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

On the "No More" theme...

Fluffy Like Concrete

Several years ago, an online acquaintance accused me of being "fluffy New Age." In his opinion my spiritual views were vastly inferior to his own. He saw my optimism, my belief in a generous and kind God, as... fluffy.

At the time I was shocked. I had never thought of myself as New Age and I’d never thought of my spiritual beliefs as “fluffy.” I felt very insulted at first, but then I remembered something my husband once told me.

My husband had worked on a building site with a Welsh guy who was in charge of the concrete mixer. He'd admire the concrete and say, in his thick Welsh accent, “Nice and fluffeeee!”

I remembered that and it all clicked into place. I think spiritual faith should always be fluffy like concrete – soft, gentle, loving and compassionate, but built on a strong, personal foundation. Being gentle is not being weak. Standing in your own personal faith does not have to be done with aggression.

 It is possible for the meek to inherit the earth... if your heart is fluffy like concrete.

Natural Beauty

I saw this photo on Facebook last week. Isn't he/she gorgeous?

The owl reminded me of a book I read and loved years ago - I Heard the Owl call my Name by Margaret Craven.

Here's a quote from the book...

“Here every bird and fish knew its course. Every tree had its own place upon this earth. Only man had lost his way.”

Being a Shaman

How long Till my Soul Gets it Right?

A fun video with some lovely lyrics.

Galileo's head was on the block

The crime was lookin' up the truth

And as the bombshells of my daily fears explode

I try to trace them to my youth

And then you had to bring up reincarnation

Over a couple of beers the other night

And now I'm serving time for mistakes

Made by another in another life time

(Chorus) How long 'til my soul gets it right ?

Can any human being ever reach that kind of light?

I call on the resting soul of Galileo king of night vision

King of insight

And then I think about my fear of motion

Which I never could explain

Some other fool across the ocean years ago

Must have crashed his little airplane

(Chorus)

I'm not making a joke

You know me I take everything so seriously

If we wait for the time till all souls get it right

Then at least I know there'll be no nuclear annihilation in my life time

I'm still not right

I offer thanks to those before me

That's all I've got to say

'Cause maybe you squandered big bucks in your lifetime

Now I have to pay

But then again it feels like some sort of inspiration

To let the next life off the hook

She'll say look what I had to overcome from my last life

I think I'll write a Book

How long 'til my soul gets it right

Can any human being ever reach the Highest Light

I call on the resting soul of Galileo

King of night vision king of insight

A Different Perspective

A friend shared a fascinating link with me recently. it was about Melek Taus, the peacock angel.

To cut to the important bit. Melek Taus is the archangel worshipped by a group of Kurdish people called the Yazidis. This has led to them being persecuted, because the peacock angel is also known by another name - Shaitan. Yes. Melek Taus is an ancient form of Satan. But his followers are not devil worshippers! 

In their version of the story this archangel rebels when God demands that all angels and archangels bow to Adam. Melek Taus refuses to accept this new creation as being better than he is. He is thrown from God's grace... but he redeems himself. He eventually realises his egotistic mistake. He makes amends. 

Is that why the Yazidis admired him? Because he was the rebel who went too far, but realised it? He wept for 7,000 years. He took responsibility for his mistakes. He grew up.

Quite an awesome variation!

I really like this different perspective on an old story. It has lessons we all could learn from. We all are capable of making mistakes in anger or ego. No matter how big that mistake might be, the only thing that matters is how we deal with it.

Earth Mother ~ Planting New Seeds

A poem I wrote a few years ago, Earth Mother Prayer, has been used by the very talented Oribel Divine to create this lovely new video.

Do go look at Oribel's website and YouTube page. Her work is inspirational. :-)

Thoughtful Thursday ~ In the Stars

"When he has evolved to the point where he can feel the rays of Uranus, the passion of Mars gradually turns to compassion; there the love of Venus which is only for one particular person, becomes all inclusive so that it embraces all humankind regardless of sex or any other distinction, for it is the divine love of soul for soul which is above all material considerations of whatever nature." 

The Message of the Stars ~ Max and Augusta Heindel

In Perfect Imperfection

A dictated chat from my guide and guardian, Gabriel. :-) A friend asked him a question and this was his reply. It is LONG. As I said, he's very chatty nowadays! ;-)

"So, life lessons and why do they hurt so much? Resistance is partly to blame, you are correct, but that is a simplification. There are other forces at play. Which brings me to a point we have discussed recently, that I know you wish me to share with your friends. It is the concept that life on this planet, within this realm, is merely a "game". It is a word that I personally find repugnant. Life is not a game. Yes, it should be enjoyed and full of adventure, love and laughter, but there is a particular danger in classifying any reality as lesser, or as a game. It trivialises the experience down to something no more important and, even more dangerously, it trivialises everything within that reality.

As a 'game' the human experience becomes no more than a series of challenges to conquer in order to "win". Such a mind set, as far as I can see, is not conducive to empathy and allowing the awareness of All-is-One to flourish. Nor does it sanctify the experience, as it should be. This reality is no more/no less important than any other. It serves a purpose, designed as such by God and yourselves. It is as real as any other and the experiences you have here are as important and beautiful, in their own way, as any you might encounter in other realms or levels of existence.

As a 'game' there is the unspoken message to mankind that the experiences here do not matter. That the pain as well as the sorrow are inconsequential. That is not so. Everything you experience is Holy and valid, including what you suffer within this realm. To think otherwise runs the added danger of then thinking it is alright to walk away or ignore the suffering of others, since they are merely other 'players' in the 'game' after all. No. No. No. Such a mindset is wrong at the highest level! This realm was not created to be a game for sociopaths to flourish in, but rather as a place to learn the deeper connection of All. The Oneness of every living thing is equally valued by God. This planet has value, this reality with all its beauty has value. This planet matters to God. (or Creator or Source. Whatever word you choose to use is of no consequence)

I cannot tell you all that is to pass, because I do not know. I do not know because there are variables, and because I am not God, and because I am an imperfect being, same as yourselves. Perfection is a lie. It is a concept unheard of in other realms, this "perfection" you seek. Perfection, as seen by the human mind, is static. It is a state where a being or item reaches a certain level and... all stops. Because now it is PERFECT. No more growth, no more adventure. Nothing. Perfection, as far as I can tell, seems to be the same as death. Can we agree on that?

So what is seen as 'perfection' by God? Growth. Change. Experience. Joy. These are the things to strive for, not some dead flat line state of being PERFECT. Michelle's mind used an analogy that sums it up well: the butterfly as an example of Divine perfection. Caterpillar-pupae-butterfly. Change in all its miraculous wonder. More importantly, when the caterpillar is a perfect creature it is nowhere near being a perfect butterfly. when the butterfly is perfect it is no longer a perfect caterpillar. And yet both forms are perfect. It does not need to strive towards one static state of being. It finds joy in every step of its journey and that is the true perfection of life - the joy of the experiences, whatever they might be.

And so I finally can return to what I was discussing in the first place, before this dear woman drew me off to talk on the things important to her. I was wanting to discuss life lessons and suffering. The lack of joy in the experience, you might say. There are some belief systems on your planet that hold with the theory that all of life in this realm must revolve around suffering. No. Not at all. Look at nature and you will see first hand how ridiculous and absurd that concept is. Nature is full of joy. It abounds in delight. Even the cycles of death and life are ones that echo that message of joy.

There is this misconception that nature is 'red of tooth and claw.' Perhaps it might seem that way at first, but look closer at the reality and you soon realise how much is lost by taking that quote as fact. Yes, animals die and people die. Things are eaten by things that in turn are eaten by another and at the end of it all the earth itself will eat them all as their energy returns back to the soil it came from. There is no horror in that for any beast or plant. The sparrow does not sit on the branch weeping at the fact it may end up in the gullet of a bird of prey tomorrow. It is here. It lives in the moment. It sings in joy or anger with equal passion and zest for life. It enjoys it all.

That was how it was meant to be. Joy in every experience. What went wrong? Why does mankind find living so unbearable? In part it lies within the constraints of your own biology. You are, as some say, a spiritual being here within a physical form. There are parameters to that interaction. The human animal has the same instincts of survival as any other. The spiritual form of you has not. That creates a level of conflict that most life forms on this planet do not share. It is what sets you apart. Not a "soul" as such, for every living and seemingly non-living thing is equally created by God and thus sacred to God. The difference lies in the fact that humans come here aware of that fact. That is your destiny, what you have been striving towards for so long. To balance the awareness of multiple realities within your physical form.

Michelle thinks that last sentence makes no sense. Worse, she commented that it sounds rather "oogah boogah". I will try to explain it in a simpler form for her. Or she will nag at me to alter it, I know.

Back to the human condition of being aware spiritually and physically within this reality. Animals are aware of it as well. The difference is that animals do not try to understand it. They accept. No query, no curiosity, no conflict. They know, at cell level, that they are a part of Creation. Mankind chose to come here to experience the conflict of knowing yet not knowing enough. It makes you strive for more. But within that adventure there have been times when the suffering this induced has created harm to all involved. This reality was never meant to harm, only for all to learn more.

Mankind was meant to express that part of God that you call Love. Agape is a closer term, but even it falls short of the mark. This Love holds an energy that is pure, but not perfect. Because perfection is a dead thing that has no purpose. Not even God is perfect in the way mankind see the concept. I understand how such a comment might seem blasphemy, but bear in mind you invented the word. Perfection is a fool's concept. The universe is constantly expanding and altering, transforming as it grows. Within that growth there are accidents and mistakes as well as moments of wonder.

Throw the "perfect" word in the bin and accept the fact all growth is a miracle. All life is a miracle. An ever changing wondrous thing full of surprises. It is only when mankind began to strive for an impossible perfection that he began to create suffering. Do you understand now? Perfection automatically implies a want. It automatically separates the experience into good and evil. God did not create evil. Mankind did that. There was no devil before you created him in your own image."

Thoughtful Thursday ~ Till We Have Faces

A quote and a very personal story make up this week's Thoughtful Thursday post.

The quote is from one of my most favourite books by C S Lewis,  Till We Have Faces. It's based on a Greek myth and told by a princess named Orual. She's the sister of Psyche, the girl who fell in love with Cupid. (who wasn't a baby with wings, but a handsome young Greek god)
Orual says this, near the end of the book:

 

“When the time comes to you at which you will be forced at last to utter the speech which has lain at the centre of your soul for years, which you have, all that time, idiot-like, been saying over and over, you'll not talk about the joy of words. I saw well why the gods do not speak to us openly, nor let us answer. Till that word can be dug out of us, why should they hear the babble that we think we mean? How can they meet us face to face till we have faces?”

Last year, I wrote my book, Wisdoms of the Light, and during the months of writing something changed inside me. It took me till today to realise what it was. I had looked at myself, face to face, and written out "that speech which had lain in the centre of your soul" and just as Orual predicted, it led to a very important meeting. 

 

No, I didn't get to meet a Greek god face to face! LOL But I did get to hear my spirit guide's words for the first time. Finding my Speech gave him speech. 

As I've mentioned before, my spirit guide, Sol, has always had to mime or write words on a chalk board to communicate with me. That's because my brain refused to give him a voice. In my opinion, the idea of "voices in my head" was simply too creepy and too invasive. So, for about ten years all I saw were flashes of pictures or written words in my mind. Last July that changed and suddenly Sol's words were coming thick and fast. At first it was a bit overwhelming, but by October I'd managed to reach a stage of balancing this new chatty person with the dear soul I'd known and loved for so long. 

Most of what we've talked about is personal and not for sharing, but last year he did write my post for Blogblast for Peace 2013, when my mind went blank. In being able to talk I have learnt a lot more about my old friend, including something vital that I'd not known before. I once joked that Sol was "no angel", since he can be vulgar, cheeky and a terrible tease. Well... the last joke was on me! Sol has been able to admit that is exactly what he is - my guardian angel. 

Sol isn't his real name, but he's happy to keep using it. He says he doesn't have a name my ears would understand. I gather our languages are not the same as theirs. I asked what the language of angels sounds like and he told me they sing to speak, but it's not like our music. I've asked him loads of questions and sometimes he's asked me to write it down, like the speech I used for Blogblast 2013. 

I have some other bits he's dictated that he's okay with me sharing, which is why I'm writing this introductory post... so to speak. ;-) Ha! Bad pun, but then I have lived with an irreverent dreadful joke-cracking spirit guide in my mind for ten years. One who now turns out to be an angel who is far from angelic! Sol is naughty, immensely loving, incredibly patient and surprisingly wise. I'm so glad we finally came to meet "face to face".

Thoughtful Thursday ~ Dance!

Every few years I like to go back and look at some of my oldest posts, to see how far this journey has taken me. This week, Hubby reminded me of my very first blog post, written back in April 2007. Even now, seven years later, it's still one of my most favourite blog posts. It still holds all the truths of who I am as well as the journeys I've taken over the years, both personally and with my book writing. I've pasted the post here, but added pictures to it, for this Thoughtful Thursday.

Dance

Last year I watched a TV documentary series called "Extraordinary People". The episode I enjoyed the most followed the life of a blind brain-damaged young man who is a musical savant. He has the intelligence level of a four year old and yet he plays jazz like a genius. At one stage he was given the chance to listen to an entire orchestra. He then "translated" the entire performance into a piano solo. It was awesome!

He flew from the UK to Las Vegas (with his beanbag toy elephant for company), to do a concert to raise money for disabled kids. There he met a boy with autism, who is also blind and plays classical music, and two other gifted musical kids: a blind girl on a violin and another autistic boy who plays the keyboard. Together they had a jam session that rocked the roof off. They were brilliant. The one psychiatrist studying them said that they are now thinking that music is the "Universal code" that drives us at a deeper level than language or any other sense-related ability. It makes sense to me. I've always loved music.

Three years ago I popped on some soothing music to try to meditate. I've always liked the idea of meditating, but my mind doesn't understand the concept of emptiness. It is a cage full of budgies, all wanting to scream their favourite word the loudest. But this one time I actually got it right, one of those rare perfect moments when things just click together. Maybe it was because I didn't try so hard? Maybe it was because I was desperate for an answer that my conscious mind couldn't provide. 

I was desperate for an answer to a crossroad I'd reached in my life regarding my religious/spiritual beliefs. I was born into a family that, counting both my mother and father's sides, span almost every variation of Christianity out there. As a result my parents had a more laid-back attitude to church attendance than many. Being a church-goer was never viewed as the only road to Heaven. I grew up with the unspoken message that all religions lead to God and therefore were of equal value. 

It was only when I went out into the world that I began to realise that not everyone was as open-minded. I was warned I was "in danger of being a Pantheist" by a teacher, when I was in Junior school. I had to go look it up in a dictionary at the time. I had to admit, what I read did sound a lot like me. It was the first time I remember feeling both relief and a vague guilt/unease at who I was. So I was a Pantheist... why was that a dangerous thing?

In high school and college, more devoted Christian friends tried to convert me to their "way". Although they meant well they left me feeling less acceptable and worthy. Sometimes depressing. Sometimes annoying. Why do some people think they know what is best for you better than you do? It's like they see you happily being a square peg in a perfectly geometric world of your own and simply cannot stop themselves from trying to squash you repeatedly into a round hole. Or, worse still, they whip out all these abrasive words in a desperate attempt to file the corners off your square soul. Words that imply you are "wrong", or "bad", for simply being true to yourself. Ultimately there are only two people who know you: yourself and God. Other people have a right to their opinions, but that is all they can ever be - opinions.

That was why I found myself trying to meditate; to try to find the "me" I had lost along the long journey through so many other people's opinions. As a child, I'd known who I was and been happy. In my twenties, I'd faced confrontation and fought back, the way you do when you are young and rather full of self-righteousness. In my thirties, I'd expanded my friendships to include a wonderful range of equally wonderful people from a variety of different belief systems: Neo-Pagan, Wiccan, Buddhist and Native American Shamanism.

My thirties were a time of tremendous personal expansion, but it was also a time where I started to wobble... like a spinning top that has hit the edge too many times.  It was clear I had wobbled so far off the path that I didn't know how to find my way back.

A friend suggested meditation to clear my mind and see the way home. I tried... nothing. Or to be exact, too much! I'd sit there and my mind would gabble and chatter about everyday life until I either fell asleep or got bored and gave up. Then one day, I was pottering around the internet and read a woman asking similar questions. She was a Catholic considering becoming a Neo-Pagan. She was standing at the edge of everything she had been taught to believe was good and evil. She had left a message asking for help, and someone had replied, "Pray for guidance - then listen."

Seemed fairly sensible advice. I decided to try it myself. For once and for all, I needed to know if being ME was okay with whoever/whatever was "Up There." I said a small prayer to that extent and sat down to wait and listen... and for the first time EVER all those manic budgies in my brain finally shut up. 

Silence

  Real silence

  Cellular level peace and quiet

Was this meditating? I closed my eyes and let the silence take over... I found myself standing at the edge of a lake at sunset. Someone was walking across the water towards me. A bearded guy in a long robe.

Jesus?

Hell...  Jesus?

I dismissed the thought as stupid, but as he walked up the shore to me I could see the holes in his hands and feet. I didn't know what to do. So I was honest and I said, "You're the last person I was expecting to see."

He burst out laughing and it was such a joy-filled infectious laughter that we both fell about laughing for a while. Then he took my hands and we walked out onto the water together and we danced. With stars above and stars reflected in the dark water below, we danced. And as we dance he "exploded" into the stars and became the Universe itself...

...and then I found myself back on the shore.

I'm not sure how long I stood there before he appeared, walking back across the water towards me once again. Only this time he was carrying something. A crow. He said, "This is for you," and the crow hopped from his arm to my shoulder.

I opened my eyes and I was back in the same room in my same house.

I have a Native American friend who had sent me an internet link to totem animals a year before. I went and looked up crow. I saved some of the bits I found there. Can't give credit to the author as I lost the links a few years back so apologies for that.

"Human law is not the same as Sacred Law. More so than any other medicine, Crow sees that the physical world and even the spiritual world, as humanity interprets them, are an illusion. There are billions of worlds. There are an infinitude of creatures. Great Spirit is within all."

"Crow is the totem of the Great Spirit and must be respected as such."

The bringer of the Holy Spirit had brought me the symbol of another culture's Great Spirit.

Now, I keep thinking about those supposedly "disabled" kids and how they've tapped into creativity and Creation at a level we can only daydream about. Music and Creation. Music and life itself. Dancing on water and amongst the stars. Ancient peoples used dancing and singing to connect to the Source...

Is faith merely (re)learning how to dance on water?

Was the world created in seven days or seven notes?

I think I really like that idea! Holy and Great, Human and Sacred exploding together in a universe of infinite possibilities. Different music, different steps, but always the same Dance. 

 I have found my way back to the Dance.

I hope you have found yours.