Thursday 24 April 2008

My Lunatic Travelosophy ;-)


My friend Jacques wrote an excellent piece on his blog about his experiences as a modern-day nomad. He finished by asking…

Who might become Travelosophers?
What does
Travelosophy mean to you?
What is your

Here is my Travelosopher's story...

When I was young we moved to a new country and a new house. My parents originally bought that house as a temporary dwelling between two moves, but life had other plans. We all ended up living in that house for over 25 years.

It was never my dream or plan to end up still living in the same room at the age of 38 that I had entered at the age of 12. It just happened that way. Life brings you choices and decisions and every choice has consequences. Some of the time I spent in that house was very happy, some of it was very unhappy, but either way it involved no physical travel. In my early 20s I struggled with mild depression and anxiety attacks for a while and at that time my room became both my refuge and my prison. It was where I felt safe… and where I felt trapped. I would stand by the window and look out at a world I didn’t feel a part of.

There was no literal travel for me during most of my 20s and 30s and yet I managed to travel so far during those years... because being unable to travel much outwardly forced me to travel within. Science states that every action has a reaction. All choices cost us, but all choices bring rewards if we are willing to accept the lessons they offer. I took my travels in other ways and I am richer for those experiences. I never climbed any mountains, never back-packed through strange countries nor wandered the streets of unknown cities. My strange countries were my dreams and my unknown city streets were the pages of books I read and journals I recorded my thoughts and discoveries in. My mountains were my own striving to climb above my shadows and fears.

Not everyone views travelling within as serious travelling. I’ve had my fair share of others who thought I was sad, or stupid, or a bit weird, but the first time I heard the song “Whole of the Moon” by the Waterboys I knew someone else understood about travelling within.

I pictured a rainbow
you held it in your hands
I had flashes
but you saw the plan
I wandered out in the world for years
while you just stayed in your room
I saw the crescent
you saw the whole of the moon

you were there in the turnstiles
with the wind at your heels
you stretched for the starts
and you know how it feels
to reach too high
too far
too soon
you saw the whole of the moon

I was grounded
while you filled the skies
I was dumbfounded by truth
you cut through lies
I saw the rain dirty valley
you saw Brigadoon
I saw the crescent
you saw the whole of the moon

I spoke about wings
you just flew
I wondered I guessed and I tried
you just knew
I sighed
...but you swooned!
I saw the crescent
you saw the whole of the moon

with a torch in your pocket
and the wind at your heels
you climbed on the ladder
and you know how it feels
to get too high
too far too soon
you saw the whole of the moon
the whole of the moon!

My travels were through circumstances, but the choice of destination was always within my power. Every time I’ve stopped to look back along the path behind me I’ve realised that I’d not want to change it even if I could. I have had moments where I have “reached too high, too far, too soon”, but I have also had moments where I “just flew”.

I’ve crashed and burned more than once… but I’ve also seen the whole of the moon.



Well, I'm finally back online. To be honest we got connected last week, but I've been too tired to come read, or write, until today.

At the moment I still feel strangely disconnected. Not to the internet - to myself. Moving house was way more tiring and draining this time than the last two times. I honestly don't think any of us can cope with doing this moving constantly and yet we have no choice. The house we are in is minimum 6 months to maybe 30 months rental. We cannot start thinking of it as "home", because it isn't. Plus we are all missing the town we lived in for the past five years. Missing it way more than any of us expected.

So it's not a particularly happy bunch of people here and the choices on what to do about that are rather limited. We either move again to another rental after six months or we stay put for as long as possible.

If we move again it means more expense (everything from removal vans to changing the phone costs money), more stress and more exhaustion (none of us are that healthy at the moment so packing and shifting was a nightmare).

If we stay it's to live in a nice house that feels not at all like a home in an area that isn't "home".

At the moment we've unpacked the necessities and left the rest packed. I haven't even unpacked my clothes yet. I just couldn't be bothered. When we first moved in we all tried to look on the bright side, see the positives, but at the moment I feel too worn out to care if I come across as negative or not.

As for blogging... I'm not sure where I'm going with that either. I don't want to lose connections to all the friends I have here, but I really don't feel any energy for writing or replying much at the moment. I'm not sure what I want to write either, but then this blog started as my own personal journey so I suppose this is just part of that journey.

I hope everyone is keeping well and I'll try to get around to everyone's blogs to say hello.

Wednesday 2 April 2008

Moving House

Well, we are finally moving house!

Tomorrow we start shifting boxes and Friday the movers come for the furniture. We will lose the phone, and internet, some time tomorrow so I'll say my "bye for now" while I can. :-)

I will be off the blogs for probably about 10 to 14 days as the phone company is only connecting us after the 8th of April and then we have to sort out the internet after that.

I'm adding two photos of the beach that is just down the road from the new house we are moving into. We were there for a picnic two summers back. (you can see me, my mom and hubby in the top photo) I hope the summer is good this year so we can go for beach walks in the evenings.

Until I get back - my love to all my blogging friends. :-)

Michelle ...