The Write Stuff

I know I've been very quiet lately.It's partly because winter is a quiet time, but also partly because I am FINALLY writing that second book. The sequel to FIRST LIGHT.

I say "FINALLY" because the first four attempts were all scuttled by unexpected things - my dad went into hospital, then my mum-in-law died, then my computer went a bit crazy and lost half its brain and then I lost the use of my hands for almost a year.

I was beginning to feel a bit jinxed with that book! Then a friends said, "Maybe you can't get to write it yet because the timing is wrong." and I relaxed and stopped fretting. 

I'm happy to say that the timing seems to be right - I'm up to chapter six so far and it feels good. :)

 But it does mean that I have a new reason for missing out on writing, and reading, blogs.I'll try to rectify that, when I can, but at the moment - the book comes first!

Blackbird - The Beatles (Cover) by Austin Criswell

One of my favourite songs sung by a rising star...

Aspirations

I don't normally get involved in politics on my blog, but today a news headline caught my attention. It was this...

 David Cameron's 'slur' on stay-at-home mothers

Really? What on earth could anyone have against stay at home mothers! I went to read, to see what the fuss was about...

'David Cameron has been accused of a slur on stay-at-home mothers after Downing Street suggested that they will be excluded from receiving child care support because they do not want to “work hard and get on”.

When asked if Mr Cameron believed that stay-at-home parents were less in need of state help than working parents, the spokesman would only say that the Prime Minister wanted to support “aspiration”.'

I'm not going to get into the complexities of finance, benefits and taxation. What bothers me way more is the idea that a woman who chooses to stay home to raise her own children is not working hard! I wonder... does this mean we should stop paying nannies and nursery schools? After all, they're doing exactly the same thing as stay at home moms so clearly they must be a bunch of slackers, sitting about without "aspirations", as well!

Did you know that one of the ways scientists gauge the intelligence of animals is by how long the babies stay with their mothers? The smarter the species, and more complex the animal's society, the longer it needs to hang out with its mum in order to learn all the things it needs to know to socially interact.

Chimpanzee babies stay with their mums for about six years and  baby gorillas stay with their mums for four to five years.It's so important that some animal rights groups have campaigned to stop pet monkey breeders from taking babies away too young, especially Capuchin monkeys, as it leaves them with emotional and behaviour problems.

So we understand the vital need for a good solid long-lasting mom-baby bond in intelligent animals and yet we don't think we need it for human children? That's beyond stupid! 

And the facts support the science. Journalist/novelist Cristina Odone wrote about it last week in Motherhood, The Career that Dare not Speak its Name. She quotes Jonas Himmelstrand's article, Universal daycare leaves Sweden’s children less educated.  Here's a quote from that article:

'A full 92% of all children aged 18 months to five years are in daycare.

Then there are the questions about the social toll Sweden’s childcare system is taking. Sweden has offered a comprehensive daycare system since 1975; since the early ‘90s, negative outcomes for children and adolescents are on the rise in areas of health and behaviour. While direct causation has been difficult to prove, many Swedish health-care professionals point to the lack of parent involvement beyond the first 16 months as a primary contributing factor. Psychosomatic disorders and mild psychological problems are escalating among Swedish youth at a faster rate than in any of 11 comparable European countries. Such disorders have tripled among girls over the last 25 years. Education outcomes in Swedish schools have fallen from the top position 30 years ago, to merely average amongst OECD nations today. Behaviour problems in Swedish classrooms are among the worst in Europe.'

I'm not surprised, I'm just surprised that anyone intelligent didn't see this as the obvious result! Whether it's a dad or a mom who chooses to stay home, there's no way any stranger can match the level of care a love bond offers.  

glitter-graphics.com

What kind of society rates staying home to nurture and create emotionally healthy well-adjusted future adults as being less important (showing less ASPIRATION) than taking any old job just to earn money?

It is truly, in every sense of the word, pathetic.

Not Gonna Worry (Original) by Austin Criswell

Austin's got an amazing talent. Lovely voice and a lovely song. I signed up just to vote. I hope he wins! :)

VeeWall Vocals - Not Gonna Worry (Original) - by Austin Criswell

For Mother's Day

HAPPY MOTHERING SUNDAY!

X X X X X

Valour

"valour 

• the qualities of a hero or heroine;
• exceptional or heroic courage when facing danger;
• a quality of spirit that enables you to face danger or pain without showing fear."

This post was triggered by a friend, who wrote saying she'd have to cut her email short because her husband had just brought her lunch. And in that moment a whole realisation flashed into my head about the untold stories of the courage of men.

Now you might think that books and movies make a big deal about courage. In a way they do,  but it's only specific types of courage they tend to focus upon. Most movies portray courage in action - the warriors, the soldiers, the superheroes. They rarely portray the courage of those who endure; those who stand and stay. There's no denying the courage of the soldier or the warrior, to face death and pain takes immense courage, but action is in itself a release from fear and a way to cope. It's a courage fuelled by nature itself - adrenalin pumps, the heart pounds blood to muscle and the senses quicken. To react, in fight or flight, is instinctively easier.

So why exactly did a man making lunch for his wife bring all this to my mind? It's because he was making lunch for his wife who is in bed recovering from chemotherapy. He's been busy taking care of her now for quite a few months and I wonder if he realises how incredible his seemingly simple actions really are.

Years ago a woman I met told me this story. She told me of the time she'd woken up in a hospital bed to find her doctor had unhappy news. It wasn't terminal, but it would change her life forever. After explaining everything carefully the doctor left her and her husband alone. Her husband kissed her and told her everything would be just fine... then he walked out the hospital, went home and packed a bag and was never seen again. He didn't have the courage to endure, the terror of staying was too great and once he started running he could not stop. 

And sadly there are many men who run from these kind of fears, either literally or by escaping into alcohol, etc. Women do it too, but on the whole there seem to be more men who struggle to endure long term courage situations. I suspect it's because men aren't always taught the courage of standing and staying. they're taught how to react - to fight or fix the problem. Our modern obsession with violent action games and movies seems to prove the point.

Now, I'm not trying to diminish the glory of those genuine heroes who save lives and take great risks to protect others, they deserve all the credit they get.

What I'm more interested in doing today is adding more awareness about the courage of those who keep on keeping on for months, years and lifetimes. For the fathers, husbands, brothers and sons who, in times of sickness and hardship, act as the anchors and the safety nets. They cook meals and clean houses, they sit beside beds, take care of children, act as a taxi service, wait in waiting rooms, wash the weak and hold the dying.

They are my heroes.

Finishing with one of my favourite songs. It was the theme to the movie GLADIATOR, but I think it feels like the perfect music for every kind of hero.

Ducks a Dabbling

Yesterday we took a trip down to the seafront, hoping to photograph some feathered visitors to the area - Eider and Long-tailed ducks. We saw a few last month, but I never had my camera with me on the day and since then we've either been too busy or the weather too ghastly to try taking photos. Yesterday was a cold day, but not too windy, not too rainy, and the harbour was FULL of seabirds...

Here's  a close-up shot so you can see who is out there. Most of those are Eider ducks, but the big bird in the centre is a seagull and behind, to the right, are a pair of Long-tailed ducks.  There's another Long-tailed duck in the very front too. I just noticed him. The Eider duck females are brown and the males are a crisp white and black with a very tasteful pistachio-green nape. You can just make out the green on the back of their necks in the photo...

Here's a pair of Long-tailed ducks, the female, at the back, is mostly brown. You can just make out the male's long thin tail feathers in the water. 

A close-up of the male...

And another male who came paddling by...

There were two pairs quite near to where we were standing, busy diving for food. Hubby took this photo of them diving...

 There was a cormorant cruising up and down hunting fish.

He did eventually catch a big fish, but gulped it down so fast the photo is just a blur. LOL

There were lots more sea birds and ducks at the harbour entrance...

There was a very friendly couple taking photos by the harbour edge. The man kindly pointed out a rare bird that we'd have definitely overlooked without his expert eye. It was a pair of Common Scoters. They were too far out for us to get a decent photo, so I'm going to recommend that you check out the photo on the blog owned by the man who let us take a look through his scope. :-)

His name is David Slater, he has his own blog of bird and nature photographs and he also runs birdwatching tours and workshops. You'll find the photo of the Common Scoter here and more information on his bird tours, Birding Ecosse, here. 

I recommend checking out his blog, he has some lovely photos. :-)