Back to Your Arms Again

For our Wedding Anniversary I thought I'd post the song we danced to at our wedding, ten years ago. The Queen of my Heart by Westlife.

To be honest... I'd never actually listened to the words until today. We had the CD and hubby chose that song because I was his "Queen of my Heart." Today I went and looked up the words... and started crying, because some bits fit far better than I'd realised, especially the chorus:

I'll always look back
As I walk away
Its where we
Will last for eternity
And all of our tears
Will be lost in the rain
When I find my way
Back to your arms again
But until that day
You know you are...
The queen of my heart

It brought back vivid memories of walking away... again and again... the last time we were together before we married. We spent all of our engagement on other sides of the world, me in South Africa and him in Scotland. 

The vivid memory this song brought back for me was the day I left Scotland to return to Africa for those long months until we met again, just before our wedding. I returned home to South Africa via Edinburgh airport, a long drive down from Inverness so we left early in the morning. It is a stunning drive through the mountains, but every mile took me closer to leaving, so it was a very bitter-sweet journey.

So here we stand
In our secret place
With a sound of the crowd
So far away
And you take my hand
And it feels like home
We both understand
It's where we belong
So how do I say?
Do I say goodbye?

We arrived at Edinburgh on time, but the booking in desk had issues with the weight of my cases (their regulations were the complete opposite of South African airways) and we ended up spending our time frantically repacking my cases on a table in the coffee shop. I just had time to get them in and then had to dash for the plane. Not at all the way we wanted to spend our last moments together! We only had enough time for one last hug and then I had to go... except I didn't.

The departure area had been set up to take long queues by using rope barriers to make a square area zigzag back and forth. As a result I said goodbye and walked away... then had to turn and walk back, then turn and walk away again. For three turns I had to walk towards the man I loved and was leaving on the other side of the world, without any chance of another hug or kiss. So we stared and STARED at each other and we both tried to smile, then I'd turn and walk away again. It felt dreadful to be so close and yet so terrible far away.

I'll always look back
As I walk away
Its where we
Will last for eternity

By the last turn I was ready to howl. I pretty much cried all the way back to Africa and Sandy had an equally grim drive all the way back up to Inverness... alone. Well, we got through those months and we did meet again - this time in a South African airport a month before our wedding.

And all of our tears
Will be lost in the rain
When I find my way
Back to your arms again