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Both my parents have stories of family members who had psychic or paranormal experiences. As a result I grew up thinking psychic abilities were fairly usual and I am aware how lucky I was. I have friends who suffered everything from teasing to punishment for being different. I never had that and I am grateful for that fact, not that I was particularly noticeable as being different. From childhood till the age of twenty I saw two ghosts/spirits. Hardly a spectacular psychic success story!
In my twenties I did begin to realise I had other abilities, but they were frustratingly vague and sometimes downright upsetting. During the 1980s kept a dream journal, to study whether my hunch that my dreams were precognitive was real or not. I was right - I logged about 25 dreams that came true. It seemed a fascinating ability... until the time I dreamt of a violent death before it happened. After that I stopped trying to remember my dreams for a long time.
In my late thirties my job as an astrology advice columnist required that I have email. So, for the first time, I ventured onto the internet. The job was great, but looking back I now realise I am even more grateful for the internet connection. In my twenties everything I learnt came from books, which meant my scope was limited to what the public library and local book stores offered. The internet opened doors I never knew existed. I wandered, and wondered, my way onto several esoteric teaching forums. I was hooked. I stayed, slowly learnt more, and with the learning I was able to strengthen my psychic abilities.
I still dislike the term "psychic" as a label, it sounds a bit pompous and often seems to imply "them" and "us" categories. That's why I invented the term 'karaoke psychic' - I'm just me, singing along as best I can, and trying to never take myself too seriously.
With some friends the fact I communicate with my guides and sometimes receive messages from dead people makes me horrifically (Is that a word?) "different", but with some of my online friends I'm not only "same" I'm the newbie beginner. I have several "real psychic" friends. People who don't need the karaoke machine anymore.)
Recently my singing along to the tune has taken a very quirky turn. When I was in hospital in March the anaesthetic seems to have had a similar effect to the thump on the head that made the man in the newspaper suddenly precognitive. (Which is why I so firmly believe that things like ESP have a physical root.) After my operation I woke dreaming I could see chakras as living creatures.
I dreamt I saw these cute little bug creatures running around the floor. One looked ill, it was all limp and sad-eyed. I asked the other little creatures what was going on and they told me "yellow" was being sent to a place in Ireland to be healed. I slowly realised that all the bug things were different colours. Seven colours, like the rainbow... or chakras. Later I discovered that the woman next to me had links to that place in Ireland - her mom was born there. It was a very weird moment. I didn't tell her about the coloured bugs, I figured she'd think I was mental. When I got home I looked up the yellow chakra (3rd) and found that the illnesses it relates to fitted the problems this woman in hospital had. I was blown away!
Since then I've lined up every friend and family member willing to act the guinea pig to try my new ability out on. It works. No idea why or how, but it works. What I see fits, and what I see has been weird and whacky. Unlike my healer friends and see/feel chakras as glowing energy I see little chakra-coloured critters. So far I've seen everything from bumble bees to tweety birds. It is wild - like going from karaoke to opera in one leap!
I'm not sure where all this is taking me, which is another reason why I started a blog. I needed a place to figure this out. For most of my life I never spoke about any of my psychic experiences beyond close friends and family. On the internet I have found more people with similar (and sometimes stronger) abilities that I can talk to and learn from, but only in these two small "worlds" am I completely myself. Lately I'm tired of being fragmented. I want to be a whole complete ME. I want to be able to talk without always censoring and editing myself inside my own head in case it freaks or annoys someone else.
I don't want to be offensive, I just want to be ME. So... no more apologies, explanations or side-stepping. This karaoke singer is coming out from under the bar stool. ;-)
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GOOD FOR YOU, Michelle! BRAVO!!!
ReplyDeleteYeah, sometimes I also censor and edit my blogs over and over and I'd write down some warnings or explanations just to make sure people don't get wrong ideas about me or what I'm trying to convey. However, it IS tiring to do it all the time. I guess I also have to learn not to be PC. :-)))
Thank you Amel. :-)
ReplyDeleteWhat irritates me about myself is that I still worry too much about what other people think. I especially hate anyone thinking I'm stupid, which is.. stupid? *big grin*
And yes, it is tiring trying too hard to be perfectly unoffensive. It's like talking in a whisper all the time - after a while you feel you want to go stand in the middle of the room and scream. ;-)
wow neat... i know this girl at work who's from phillipines that also have this karaoke psychic ability. she has an third eye from what she told me and can see ghosts - it's quite freaky thinking about it atm (2:am here). according to this girl, her ability is more bad than good... i don't know if this is the case with you... but it's a gift i guess... personally, i'd love to understand more about these phenomenas, it seems i'm always attracted towards these people lol, even on the net..
ReplyDeleteshan.
The problem for a lot of people, like your friend, is that they grow up without any help or advice on things like this. She sounds like she has no control so it's like having the radio on all the time, even when you don't want it!
ReplyDeleteI don't have control over what I dream, but I do control (most of the time) whatever I tune into awake. That's only because I have read and practiced exercises making it easier to have control. I'm still learning though. I think this is an area where you never stop learning, because we (humans) really know so little.
I had this immediate image of emoticons jumping and running all over the place... I think I'm spending too much time online.
ReplyDeletewonderful piece - thanks for sharing it.
Thanks for making me go back and read how far I've come since then. I'd forgotten.
ReplyDeleteI love the mental image of you coming out from under the bar stool to chase colourful little critters! ;)
ReplyDelete:-) LOL
ReplyDelete