Real Romantic

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HollyGL recently posted her favourite romantic movie moments on her blog. I couldn’t think of a good movie quote to add to her list, since she’d already used up my favourite movie moment ("As Good as it Gets"). In fact the only thing that popped into my brain was Sadie Shapiro offering advice on true love. I was going to simply post that onto Holly’s blog, but it kind of grew along the way.

Now I must confess up front that I’m not really an enthusiast of Romantic Movies. I don’t enjoy most Romance novels either. I never was the type to watch weepy movies or see the point to unrequited love, like Romeo and Juliet. I think I’m more a real romantic, like Sadie. Real romantics understand that beauty lies in simple things. A real romantic knows that sometimes the world’s greatest moments take place unseen and unnoticed… except by two.

So who is Sadie? Sadie is a character in a book, but she’s also so much more than that. She’s the voice of every mother, aunt, older sister and grandmother you ever knew condensed down into one smart little old lady who knows the difference between true love and fake.

I found Sadie in the pages of a book called “Sadie Shapiro’s Knitting Book” about a decade ago. That funny heart-touching character summed up all any good girl needs to know about love and romance. She was created by a man named Robert Kimmel Smith… who must have had some truly remarkable women in his life to have managed to create a character as charming and alive as Sadie.

Sadie gave me the second best advice on love I’ve ever had. The best advice I ever had came from a real woman - Mrs Rosman. We met in hospital… where I was visiting, but she was dying. It was such a short time of meeting and knowing, but within that short time I was honoured to come to know another great woman… with great advice. I owe thanks to both those women, fiction and real, for they led me to the man I married.

Mrs Rosman’s advice was simple – DON’T SETTLE FOR SECOND BEST. I can still see her sitting back against the hospital pillows saying “I said to my daughter exactly what I’m saying to you - NEVER settle for second best in a life partner. No woman with any brains compromises on buying shoes, but they’ll compromise on who they’ll marry? It’s stupid! Being single isn’t half as bad as living forever with the wrong person. If you can’t find the best – stay single. If no-one asks you out – stay home and read a good book.”

…which is what I did, come to think of it. ;-)

Ten years after meeting Mrs Rosman I met Sadie Shapiro and she in turn summed up exactly what my heart had been trying to tell me. Unfortunately I no longer have my copy of the book, I left it behind when I moved countries, but I can remember enough to explain Sadie’s point of view. In the book Sadie tells a young single woman stories about love and romance. How true love is a man who gets up in the middle of the night to get you an extra blanket, because he knows you’re cold. Simple things, taking place unseen and unnoticed… except by two.

When I read that story I knew that was exactly what I wanted. A man who sends you flowers and sends love poems may make your heart flutter, but the man who thinks of your needs and is always there for you… THAT was what I found really romantic! I knew who I was looking for and I knew I wasn’t going to settle for second best. I knew being happy and busy as a single person was better than compromising and marrying some “almost good enough” man. No man deserves to be thought of as “second best”… no woman deserves to compromise.

So I kept busy, found ways to be happy single, and waited with an unspoken hope. When I met a stranger on the internet I had my first hint that he might be “the one” when he showered me with sincerity and kindness rather than cards and gifts.

I had no doubts when I said “Yes” to marrying him, but I went out to Scotland to meet him to quiet any doubts and fears our families and friends had. .

On one of the first mornings of my holiday he took me in his arms, ran his hands in a gentle caress down my back, looked deeply into my eyes and said, “You’re not wearing your thermal underwear! It’s cold outside – go put it on.”

…and I knew I’d found the kind of man Sadie would have approved of. ;-)

*Delightful update*

I started writing this post earlier in the week. I had hoped to add the actual quote from the book “Sadie Shapiro’s Knitting Book” and did some Google searching. The bad news is I never got my book quote, but the good news is that I found Robert K Smith’s books are on sale at Amazon and… I found Robert K Smith himself! He has his own website, with email. I sent a short email saying I was a Sadie fan and received a lovely warm email back the next day. Turns out he has had two great women in his life at the very least. He was married for 45 years to one lovely wife (who sadly passed away from cancer) and now is married again (8 years) to another wonderful woman.