Saturday, 6 December 2008

Amazing Grace

The word “grace”, in the dictionary, is described as:

an indispensable gift from God for development, improvement, and character expansion. ... Divine Grace also can be defined as God's empowering presence in ones life enabling them to do and be what they were created to do and be.
I wrote recently that I’ve come to realise that grace goes further than I thought... and that takes me to the story of Myrt. It’s not a short story, but Myrt wants it told and I think it’s worth telling, especially since it shows a side to the word ‘grace’ that I suspect many people don’t know, but to explain that I first need to explain Myrt.

Now and then (fairly rare) I have lucid dreams and this was one of them, a nightmare in fact. I was in a forest being chased by something I couldn’t see. I decided to stop and challenge my ‘monster’ and a huge wolf came out of the darkness. It snarled a lot, but up close I could see it was actually rather pathetic – very thin with matted dirty fur. In other lucid dreams I’d chased off scary things, but this one made me feel pity. I decided to do something different. I spoke to the wolf and told it I would groom out all the knots in its fur if it stopped chasing me. It acted surprised and kept growling, but it was willing to stand quietly as I brushed its fur. I woke up thinking “crazy dream” and went on with my life… but later that day the wolf came back. I could ‘see’ him standing behind me in the bedroom in my mirror. When he realised I did see him he went mad, running about barking excitedly like a happy puppy… and he never really went away.

For the next three years Myrt was ‘there’ - big, black, and sometimes a bit scary, but always friendly in a wild exuberant way. I knew he was what some would call a “lower entity” – something more dark than light, but he was so happy to be cared about that I never felt creepy having him around. Slowly I got symbols and images from him, including the name MYRTLE when I asked. He also made it very clear that he wanted to ‘earn his keep’ by being both a guardian and a protector. Whenever I use my abilities… there’s Myrt, vigilant and protective - a bit intimidating, but also rather comforting. One day, about two years back, I was thinking about the fact he is a dark entity and it made me feel sad. I’ve grown to love Myrt and you want good things for any creature you love – not darkness or unhappiness.

I was looking at him, thinking how much I loved and cared about this strange creature, and in that moment I actually saw Myrt evolve. It was mind-boggling. I ‘saw’ him as himself.. and then light exploded from his eyes and body, so bright I couldn’t see. When it cleared he was a creature made of pure light. No physical form left - just light. His tail dripping stars like a sparkler. From that day on Myrt either came in the form of a white wolf or white dog.

After a while I suppose I just got so used to him being there I didn’t think about it being weird anymore. Then this summer something changed. It was around the time I saw the angels on our holiday trip. Myrt came bounding in, stood up on his hind legs… and morphed into a man with large black wings. I thought “WOW, is Myrt actually my guardian angel?” ,but I got a very clear reply “FALLEN ANGEL”.

It made no sense to me at first, I can be fairly thick at times. Every time I try to ask this new Myrt who he really is I get the same reply – fallen angel. I’ve asked the guardian angels I know and everyone gives me the same words – fallen angel.

I always knew the nightmare creature I first met was dark, but the fact he might be an actual fallen angel? No way! To get my head around that idea has taken me months and it’s only recently that I’ve realised what this actually means. Something even more radical than my friendship with Myrt and the reason he keeps pushing me for his story to be told. Because Myrt is proof of grace - a fallen angel who has stepped back into the light. Not perfect (he still creeps out one of the angels I know), but not damned either. Christians are used to the concept that God’s love embraces all humankind, regardless of their unworthiness, but I’m not sure how many are aware that Love and Grace go further than just our species.

Myrt wants it known that love does make a difference, can make a difference, regardless of how ‘dark’ or ‘fallen’ any creature might think itself. I didn’t change Myrt, he chose to change himself, but I’d like to think the fact I showed him kindness helped. I don’t know Myrt’s story, perhaps I never will. It’s not really relevant to me. What he was isn’t as important as what he is becoming and the fact I have been able to share in that is more humbling than anything I could ever express in written words. All I can add is the small fragments I’ve gathered from Myrt himself – that he once hated God, but doesn’t any longer. He keeps showing me the image of himself throwing doves up into the air. He has been set free to once again “be what he was created to do and be”.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see...



  1. This is beautiful, M! Most of all, these words stood out for me: "What he was isn't as important as what he is becoming". That's really lovely...

  2. Ahhh, favorite subject.:o)
    My regards to Myrt.

  3. This is amazing Michelle - thanks so much for sharing Myrt's story.

  4. Very interesting story, Michelle. I often have wild dreams and nightmares too. I later try to figure them out. Sometimes they make sense and sometimes not.

    Want to hear a really incredible thing? The word verification letters for this comment box for me right now spell out "doves." How's that for amazing? :D

    Wishing you a wonderful day!

  5. What an unusual story, Michelle, and so inspiring.

    Have gnoted a portion here; hope it's OK.

  6. Amel
    Thank you. ((hug)) You made me realise that sentence is true for all of us really...

    Hi Betty
    and my thanks to you for walking with me through so much of my own journey into Grace. XX

    I was a bit nervous telling such a personal story so hearing feedback like yours (and the rest here) is really brilliant. :-)

    Wow, that really is amazing about the word "doves", but then I think God finds ways to give us a nudge in whatever way he can. Reading that you'd seen that word made me feel I got a thumbs up from "above". Thank you for letting me know. X

    As for dreams... I think a lot of our dreams are just our mind sorting through things and tidying up our daily experiences, but there are dreams that are more than that, as the Bible mentions with stories like Joseph. In our dream state we kind of travel between worlds and yes, spirits and other things can contact us in that state. Bad ones can try to scare us, but that's the only power they posses - fear. They cannot touch or harm us.

    Speaking for myself there are dreams that just stand out as "significant" and those are the ones I write down and try to understand.

    How cool to be gnoted. :-) Thank you.

  7. You'll have to tell Myrt I love him. Not being an angel person (quite the opposite, actually) I'm delighted to find myself quite enchanted by one!

  8. Having missed this I am wondering when we first started talking and perhaps how long you've had a blog before I knew it. It looks like I have some reading/REreading(?) to do.
    Congratulations to Myrt for a remarkable transformation back into the light. I admire you and thank you for watching over my friend.

  9. Thanks Den

    I think you were in between places when I started blogging.



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