"Keep Her Walking"..

...

This morning I received one of those "pass it on" emails. I get dozens of them from friends and family and to be honest - I delete a lot of them. But this one is different. This one is more personal so I will pass it on.

In February this year I was sent to hospital by my doctor when an ongoing pain problem suddenly reached the horrific unbearable stage. The did three scans and loads of blood tests and the specialist came to tell me there were two possibilities. It was either an ovarian cyst.. or ovarian cancer. They'd know better once the blood results were back. The next day he said the blood results were "inconclusive" but suggested it was more likely to be cancer. Then he sent me home to wait till my operation date was due. It was originally planned that I'd be back within a week, but then I got flu and a severe cough and the operation was postponed a month.

A month to sit and think…

People get cancer and survive nowadays, right? I have three family/friends who are survivors of breast cancer. I can do this! I will be a survivor! Being a computer geek I went straight to Google and checked out "ovarian cancer". What I found wasn't optimistic. Truth is ovarian cancer is a very aggressive disease and survival rates are low. I had every single symptom, but this is a subtle illness - the symptoms aren't enough. You need those blood tests and biopsies to be certain.

For one month I had to sit with that thought. This was real. I really could die.

I felt.. mixed. I wasn't scared of dying. Oh, I was screaming freaking scared of pain, chemotherapy etc, just not scared of going beyond that. I don't see death as an ending, but more of being a doorway. That was exciting. Death has to be the biggest adventure anyone gets to take. I was okay with that, but not at all okay with what it might take to get there. And I truly was NOT okay with the thought of leaving people I loved behind. That thought was incredibly painful.

So for one month I spent a lifetime of thinking, then they operated and found out they were wrong. It was a really nasty cyst, but just a cyst. No cancer. I wasn't going to die. In a way I almost felt as if I'd gotten a second chance. Some people might celebrate that by taking up bungie jumping or go climb a mountain. I came home and started a blog. There's got to be a joke in there somewhere! :-D

I was okay, but ovarian cancer is still a disease that needs funding in order to that other women less lucky than I do get that second chance to climb that mountain.. or start that blog.

Today I received this email.

This woman is walking for ovarian cancer. Please pass her on so that she can reach her destination. Say a prayer for all those who are affected by this terrible disease. She's walking around the world --- via e-mail!! Pass it on so she can get there!

I can't get the original animated walking woman to work here, so I added a walking figure to the official ovarian cancer ribbon.

Keep her walking! :-)