For the record this title is not my choice. Solomon chose it. Every time I read it I smile, because it is so typical of his humour. You could ask Sol and he'd vouch for the fact that this was his choice of title - if you could see him to ask. Sol has never literally been visible to talk to, because Sol is a spirit guide.
When I was young I read about psychics who spoke of having spirit guides. I thought the idea was incredibly creepy, plus it irritated my rebellious ego. These people were taking guidance from a completely unknown source?
There were only two sources I was willing to take instructions from - God and my own conscience. Beyond those two I felt everything else should be scrutinised thoroughly. I still do. I'm always a little wary of advice from people. Humans have their own personal "agendas". We are rarely as objective as we think. We often hide our true motives, even from ourselves. That's why I like animals. Animals are always true to themselves. When I first started learning more about Native American beliefs I liked the idea of animal totems right away, so it wasn't surprising that I found it easy to meditate and connect to animal totems.
Elephant came through the easiest, I suspect because I have always loved elephants. I naturally assumed that elephant was my totem animal, but when I asked that specific question I was very disappointed to receive the answer "NO." I was a slow learner, for about three years elephant was there in my dreams, my meditation and even began to pop into my everyday thoughts. I regularly received hints and messages that elephant wasn't a totem, but I ignored them. I'd probably still be none the wiser if I hadn't had a rare moment, a few years back, when my psychic abilities tuned in and worked perfectly.
I was watching a TV documentary on World War 2. Eastern Europe. They were showing a little village in Eastern Europe where the entire Jewish population had been wiped out. As I watched the TV words suddenly filled my head. A whole stream of lamenting, in Hebrew. I don't understand Hebrew, but I have heard it spoken and I recognised the language. I mentally asked what the he** was going on and in my mind I received back one shocked English sentence - "You can hear me!"
From that moment everything changed and I began fitting the pieces into place. Elephant never was a totem. In fact Elephant wasn't even an elephant! A spirit had been using elephant to communicate with me. In my mind he appeared in that shape because my mind found the idea of seeing a dead person too disturbing. An elephant in your head is quirky, maybe even a bit crazy, but still amusing enough to cope with. Dead people wandering around in your thoughts is not! Nowadays Sol still appears as an elephant, but only because I prefer him that way. He's cuter as an elephant. I also suspect he enjoys the joke of being a "Patriarchal Pachyderm".
Sol isn't at all what I expected. At first I thought spirit guides would be scary. They're not, they're just people. Then, when I started accepting the concept of guides/teachers I expected them to be more like messengers from God - angelic. Sol is not angelic. Why should he be? He's a 500 year dead Eastern European Jew, not an angel. He has ideas and opinions, but they are his, not messages from God. He has never tried to pretend otherwise. He likes jokes I consider crude, he teases a lot, and as much as I hate to admit it, he is wise. Getting to understand that wisdom is tricky though. Except for that one night I have never heard him again. I get an elephant doing mime in my brain. Symbols, pictures and sometimes words or a single sentence, but not spoken. More like seeing it written down in your head. It's like communicating by playing charades.
I do get it wrong from time to time. Mostly when I try too hard to interpret what I'm seeing instead of just trusting, and saying, what I see. A prime example is the day I was chatting to a friend. (details slightly altered to protect my friend's personal story) His girlfriend had just dumped him without warning or explanation. I saw Sol-the-elephant sitting on the girl and squashing her flat. I told my friend and we took it to mean that Sol disapproved of her behaviour and was getting revenge for my dumped friend by squishing the girl.
We were wrong.
A few months later my friend contacted me to say that he'd found out that the week his girlfriend dumped him had been the week she had a nervous collapse. Basically her life was a mess and the stress got too much. Worries and stress were squashing her as flat as Sol's big ellie butt. We hadn't understood the message at all! Sol wasn't punishing her, he was pointing out exactly the state she was in at that moment. Good news is that the girl got help and the two of them are back together again.
Sol is very patient with my dense-ness. He doesn't give up, even when I do, or want to. Just like an elephant he is big, immovable and hard to ignore. He pops into my head without warning. At the moment he's waving his trunk. He has thrown up a heart that burst into a hundred heart bubbles... and he is grinning now. That's how he sees the internet - bubbles. Bubbles of thoughts, ideas, emotions, travelling across the world. He's still blowing heart-bubbles with one of those little sticks children use. Pink heart bubbles of love. I really like that!
It should be weird getting pictures of heart bubbles in your head from a Jewish elephant, but it's too zany to be disturbing. Not that everything he brings is funny. One of the first times I ever allowed myself to trust and just say what I saw he gave me a symbol for an online friend. A gift from a dead father to the daughter he loved and still loves. The gift made no sense to me, but it did to her. I had no way of knowing that what seemed a crazy symbol to me would be something that would touch her heart.
To be able to do that, even once, is worth living with an elephant in your head.